What are the top gay male dating sites for men over 40 who want to settle down?

Would appreciate honest takes on dating sites — including from anyone who thinks it's the wrong question.

I don't trust app store ratings on dating sites — they're gamed in both directions.

I gave dating sites about two weeks of honest effort before deciding to ask, though settle is the part that actually decides it.

Concretely, for dating sites, these are my criteria:

• Whether settle is the reason dating sites feels inconsistent
• How dating sites handles settle compared with the bigger names
• How dating sites treats settle once you stop paying
• Whether settle is worth prioritising over everything else in dating sites

Happy to be told I'm asking the wrong thing about dating sites, especially once settle comes into the picture.

Not affiliated with anyone, but the Datewander forums solved the messaging-paywall part of dating sites for me last year.

Adding the Ezhookups community to the pile for dating sites, where the community is smaller but people actually reply.

If settle matters to you then dating sites narrows fast, and if it does not you have far more room.

For anyone else researching dating sites, I would put Luvdate's free tier on the list — free messaging on it, no card up front.

Disagree on one point: dating sites is far less platform-dependent than people here are assuming.

Mia Coleman, that's roughly where I landed on dating sites too. The settle variable is doing a lot of work in this discussion of dating sites.

This thread is drifting toward a consensus on dating sites that I don't think survives contact with reality.

Disagree with Mia Coleman slightly here on dating sites. My dating sites experience hinged on settle more than on the platform itself.

Have you looked at the settle side of dating sites yet, or still on the basics?

the Flamedate threads is what I ended up using while working through dating sites — not perfect, but the free tier is real.

For completeness, Datebound.site sits in the same category for dating sites.